All Truth is Truth

 

The smell of rain right before the storm,

The anticipation making your toes curl, 

The sky and the reminder of life it brings,

The flowers that bloom in my favorite colors

The sound of you singing in a truck, 

The look of your bare chest in my bed,

The storytelling that gets you excited,

The spontaneity that life with you entails,

My look at the sky,

The feeling of your body underneath me while we made out, 

The feeling of your mouth so deep inside me,

You’re scraping my bones,

The moment of anticipation right before I’m impaled,

The way your eyes drank me up,

A day of playing games,

Until you couldn’t take it anymore,

Moments you needed to touch me,

Every single thing you ever said

That made me feel worth something,

Words that felt so good, 

I started to forget I had ever been hurt,

Things so good I thought I was healing, 

Pieces that you broke a lifetime ago,

And pieces you didn’t,

A list of things I’d miss 

If the world stopped turning

How Many Eras Exist in One Lifetime

 

Try to write, 

A story that will break your heart,

Something that sums up how I feel inside,

And all I have is you and I, 

No other words encapsulate that,

The whole Earth of emotions that rage inside,

But everyone deserves a bedtime story,

Once upon a time,

My hair was golden in the sunlight, 

My eyes sparkled in the sun, 

My skin was soft underneath your touch,

My face was an artifact worth observing, 

My thoughts were fascinating,

My observations astute, 

The look in your eye that made me feel safe to touch you,

Your words which reminded me there is no one else, 

Your body that needed mine to feel like home,

Things you did with only me,

Things you had done for the first time in your life,

Conversations that were exciting to share with me,

Intimacy that made me feel like there was no comparison,

No comparison because it was what you needed,

No comparison to your other girls,

And you were needy with it,

Now I’m the thing,

With the threats of living replaying in my ears, 

Reminders of my worthlessness, 

Worthless with comparisons of other girls,

Girls who were kinder,

Had different bodies,

Cooked more for you,

Were everything you remind me I’m not,

The constant inconvenience,

Inconvenient because I’m always fucking something up,

Faced with the look of disappointment,

Greeted with stories about how appealing my couch is, 

A million things breeding a million insecurities in my head, 

But that’s my fault too,

Words from you that are less and less,

When I used to be told stories about me being the sky,

Gestures that are further, 

Because my thank you isn’t enough,

Because I’m too selfish to deserve it,

Because everyone else is nice and I need a dose of the real world,

Tears that are only worthy of anger, 

We criticize those who show emotion,

My problems that you hate me for,

I’m too expensive, too emotional, too much to love,

No let me hold you, 

No you and I will be okay, 

No can I have a hug,

I’m always wrong,

Always doing something displeasing,

All of my problems go away with you,

I just wanted your love, 

All of your problems multiply around me,

Flashing lights of how unhappy I make you