Some Things We Think at Night

What are we,
If not a big conversation,
One made up of hours and hours of words,
Like the cigarettes you chain smoke
- All the Things We Don't Say


God,
Please help me find things
meant for me.
Things that come and
things that stay.
- A New Beginning


Just shut the fuck up.
Let your lips find mine,
Let your hands dip lower and lower
Until they're coaxing me
Right to your body.
Let you fill me inside,
So deeply we create a new home
for us both.
- The Thoughts You Think When You’re Alone


I should've known he wasn't right for me,
When my words dried up,
My flow wouldn't come, and
I just stared blankly at the paper.
- Passion Isn't Optional for Me

The End of an Era

How will you forget?
Chokers, mini dresses, and high heels.
How will you forget?
A willing outpouring of the truth,
things locked up,
keeping dirty things inside you for so long.
How will you forget?
A dark hallway, and
a kiss so shattering,
a whole house full of people felt it.
How will you forget?
Green shorts and an ending so sticky sweet,
you couldn't resist.
How will you forget?
Sex so filled with anticipation,
that even the sky opened up to feel it.
How will you forget?
Climbing rocks until we are staring,
down at the water rushing beneath us,
matching the tempo of our hearts.
How will you forget?
Dipping your sunscreen coated hand,
between my legs,
while the water gleams behind us with happiness.
How will you forget?
Skimpy outfits,
adorned while you showered,
things passing between us.
How will you forget?
Me, hands and knees in front of you,
dedicating my life to your happiness,
while darkness fell all around us.
How will you forget?
Driving away from me for the last time,
watching me shatter around you.
How will you forget?
With everyday you remain gone,
you become a little more forgotten.

I Know You Won't Agree With This But You Don't Read It Anyways

Every night you lay down beside me,
I tuck you in, cover you up.
Do you need anything?
How about some water, are you thirsty?
Some nights you let me drift off peacefully,
You rub my back, play with my hair.
Some nights you keep me up,
Whispering secrets to me as the hours go by.
I tell you my hopes and dreams.
They always make you giggle.
I tell you about a new boy,
You tell me I'll never be good enough
for a good man.
You tell me that if I keep dating guys that hurt me,
I can't hurt them.
I tell you I want to help people,
You ask what I ever did for you.
I ask you to leave,
Please go to the closet where
everyone else's skeletons live.
But you take my hand and pull
me back into bed with you.
The worst of lovers.
You wrap your arms around me,
Tell me it'll be okay,
Tell me you'll always be there,
You'll never leave me,
I'll never have to be alone.
I give in to you, I succumb,
I know no other way.
And then,
Just so I don't forget who I am,
You look me dead in my eyes
While you light that fire
Run it under your spoon,
Instant high.
You're my favorite destruction you tell me,
And I cry myself to sleep.

Here's to 2017

The idea that something good was only one magic step away.

The idea that some things never change, and the hope that some do. 

The idea that love is hard, but holy shit, the reward. 

The idea that someone's skin can be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and to touch it is the idea of human comfort.

Here's to feelings that we thought were lost, only to be found, and lost again. 

Here's to the child-like wonder that comes from discovering love for the first time in a long time. 

Here's to the idea of believing in the blonde boy more than you've ever believed in anything. 

Here's to the idea that it doesn't matter how you get to Sunday, as long as you get there. 

The idea that the only thing the soul needs at the end of every day is just to laugh. 

The idea that people can sweep you away, just like a hurricane, the prettiest natural disaster ever seen. 

Here's to all the secret stolen moments that didn't belong to us in the first place, but we made ours. 

Here's to all the nights where the only thing that mattered is the emotion that overwhelmed us. 

Here's to late night car rides filled with music that was everything to us. 

Here's to the mornings where we weren't fully awake yet, but still found each other's company. 

Here's to the idea that love would outlive us all. 

Here's to all the moments where anger should've been squashed and hearts should've healed. 

Here's to all the harsh words that were never meant. 

Here's to waking up and finding a way to fall in love all over again, everyday.

2017 was filled with the regret that kindness and understanding did not prevail over everything. 

But how can you really regret a year filled with the idea of love in the air and feet dirty with adventure. 

And for 2018, the idea that love comes, and is not required to stay. But we are made of pure Earth with hearts that come from the cosmos, and there are things inside of us that will always outlast time. 

The idea of giving your heart, completely recklessly, with no abandon, even if it's only just once. The notion that someone will come and when they do, they can have everything and you will hold nothing back. 

Heroin, Part II

Is this how you felt? 

The only place you find comfort,

The only place you can breathe, 

The only place you can feel okay.

A high so good, 

You can feel it on your lips, 

Taste it on your tongue, 

Know it in your toes.

But then, 

The downfall, 

A withdrawal to end all withdrawals, 

The kind that ends with a million 

Little holes, 

The kind that don't repair.

The kind that makes boys addicts, 

And girls drown their sorrows. 

I May Never Sleep Again

Can you sleep at night?
Can you sleep,
Knowing my heart aches to
Beat inside yours,
Knowing all I want is to
Hear your voice and see
Your name on my screen,
Knowing all I want is
Your heart,
Not just the parts of you
That fit inside me,
Knowing I want to be your forever,
Knowing food no longer
Fits inside my stomach,
Knowing my eyes fall like rain
Every night,
Knowing I am literally half
The person I was,
And you,
You hold all the power,
One snap of your fingers
Could fix my world again,
But you hesitate,
Knowing I'm dying without you,
Do you feel anything for me now,
Please come home tonight.

How About Shouldn't Take What Isn't Yours?

How does it feel?
To watch him be haunted,
By something so beautiful?
Do you think he's ever seen you?
He closes his eyes,
When you kiss,
When you touch,
When you fuck.
Now you tell me,
Why do you think that is?
You teach ABC's,
I speak the words of the soul.
You won,
But did you really?
I'll always be there,
Taking up the space you want.
So tell me,
How long does it take to die?
Loving a man who loves me?