Dance With Me in Hell

Can I be?
Your today, your tomorrow, and all of your yesterdays.
Will you take me where you go?
Can I be?
Your favorite photo,
The one you feel compelled to stop and stare at,
Every time you walk by.
Can I be?
Your first thought in the morning,
Drink me with your cup of coffee.
Breathe me in with your cigarette.
Your last thought at night,
The peaceful thing that drives you to sleep.
Can I also be,
All the thoughts in between.
Can I be?
Your favorite prayer,
The one thing you really hoped for.
Can I be?
Your favorite demon.
Ready to dance with you in happy, hot bliss.

Untitled

My life, a mess.
My soul,
tired.
I long for a place.
Where my mind can rest.
I can repaint my walls.
Open up my windows,
sunshine for the first time.
Lay it's metaphorical feet up.
Life fueled by understanding.
Open ears, ready to listen.
Late nights, real dinners, warm fires.
Unpack my baggage
and call it home.

One Preceding the Letter, a Transition, More Parts of a Nonexistent Book

Mason sat at his desk, unable to focus on class, terrified of what he would find in that envelope. He waited til he got home, ran upstairs to his bedroom, though twice, ran to the porch and let a cigarette. After smoking and a failed attempt to calm his nerves, he went inside to face the truth.
Mason stuck his hand inside and pulled out a book. Skate by Michael Harmon, a book he had let Sailor borrow a few months ago. Took a deep breath, reached in one more time, and pulled out Sailor's letter.

Why Are You Here?

Do you know me at all?
Do you know what I've seen,
Where my mind goes when it drifts off?
Off, off, off
Until it falls right off the Earth.
Favorite song,
The one I sing to break my heart
Over and over again.
Favorite movie,
That always excites my personality.
Favorite book,
That always leaves me inspired and craving life.
What brings tears to my eyes?
What gives me the warm, fuzzy feelings.
Am I just a toy to you?
New and shiny, for the moment?
Until I'm thrown into a corner.
With all of your discarded things,
thought, and feelings.
Left to collect your dust.

Speaking of Things Down the Rabbit Hole

And here we go again,
I fell down, down, down
Down into that mysterious hole.
Where I always find you waiting.
Waiting to take my hand.
And fuck me up all over again.
Would it make you sick to your stomach
To know?
Or some sort of twisted amusement?
Everything is an illusion.
My words, coy.
My actions,
An unintentional game.
With a prize I'll never win.

Sequential Order, Technically Part Two from Nonexistent Book, Also Scene Rewrite

Sailor sat at her desk, her bare feet propped up on it. Boston's Amanda playing on her stereo, staring at her phone, waiting on some guy who she had met at a gas station to tell her something he believed in. Same old question, new guy, same old uninspired answer. You know who would answer this question with a good answer, the perfect answer? Sailor thought to herself. Mason. And all of a sudden, it hit Sailor with a feeling in her stomach, a feeling so strong and so sure others might name it prophesy. It was him. The giant question of where her future lay. And he was the glowing answer. She ignored the ding on her phone, the guy's answer to her question, as her mind began to divulge it's plan. Sailor had always planned to write Mason a letter for graduation, well that was still a month away, but this revelation had placed a sense of urgency on her. So the wait began, until the time was right. At the ripe hour of 3 a.m., Sailor sat down to write her letter. 

Darling Mason,
I know we haven't spoken in a few months, and I know that is mostly my fault. But I have always wanted to write you a letter for graduation, I just was never sure what it would say. The first thing it should say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the moments you have felt hurt by me. And I mean that I am truly sorry. Do you hear me? I am sorry that I pushed you to the side and didn't give you the attention you deserve, or the effort for that matter. I'm sorry I made you feel as if I wasn't interested in having you, because I am in fact in interested. I know you're in a relationship and if that's where your heart is, I do not want to get in the way of that. But I do love you. And I feel in my heart there is a time and a place where you and I are meant to be together. I'm sorry to interrupt your life, but I had to tell you, for my sanity and so you'll know. If you do not wish to speak to me, you don't have to. I wish you all of life's happiness and I will always love you. Love, Sailor.

The next day Mason sat at his desk, looked to his left and found Sailor's best friend approaching. Oh God, she's coming for me, he thought. Kenzie reached him, pulled out a manila envelope and said, "I think you need to read this," placed it on his desk and walked off.

Has She Met Me?

What do you see when you close your eyes?
What do you dream?
Where does your heart go?
Do you see her?
Standing on the beach,
Wet feet and sandy hair.
Do you see her,
Sitting at a table,
In your favorite restaurant.
Eating your favorite meal.
Do you see her,
Sleeping in your bed,
Peacefully and steady.
Or do you see me?
Broken and drenched.
Heart and feet in a puddle,
Ready to be your favorite fuck-up.
Nothing special, nothing new,
And probably nothing good.
But ready to worship at your feet,
Once again.