America's Sweetheart

 We end up alone because you'd rather 

encourage our show than teach us who to be

when the lights go out. 

I don't want to be a lonely woman

chilling at soccer practice 

alcohol in Yeti 

because I hate everyone around me. 

I don't want to compete 

for the biggest house

for everyone to hate me. 

You create us to be lonely

I want to be more than lonely.

I want to be alive. 

I want to be all day sex

in a motel room because 

he could think of nothing better to do

than me. 

I want to be dirty hair and barefoot

slow dancing in the yard 

trying to count stars. 

I am not your work all day

PTA meetings

flaccid penis. 

I want more emotions than 

I know what to do with. 

I want to be made of laughter 

so hard I can't breathe. 

The ocean over top my head, 

water interrupting my thoughts 

one with something humans haven't touched. 

I am not your death inducing job

follow the leader

feel nothing inside

wasted dreams. 

I want to wake up

to him asleep rubbing me.

I am books and coffee at 2 am

late night whispers 

and the feeling of love. 

Fuck you and fuck your system

I am not a player in your game

I am alive and emotions 

and the universe.