Look After You

 

Is loneliness the feeling

When I’m apologizing to my dogs,

Promising them a better life. 

The feeling of crying outside,

So no one hears, 

No one ever hears. 

The feeling of watching movies, 

Alone and isolated.

The feeling of being too much,

For anyone else.

The feeling of being a burden,

Due to a different life lived.

The feeling of not understanding,

How to do it correctly. 

The feeling of being scared, 

Of giving space,

The feeling of not asking too much,

So you can’t be left. 

The feeling of wanting connection,

With unknown feelings of how to achieve it.

The feeling of you’re always better in theory,

Never in person,

Never in actuality. 

Fantasy you never has too many expectations,

Never has too many wants,

Never is too much, 

Always a dream,

Never the thing not worth it,

Never the thing that feels lonely. 

Quantum Entanglement

 Neil deGrasse Tyson says we’re all made of stardust. 

If we’re all made of stardust, 

We must come from the same star.

When I whispered into the air,

I’m convinced that they were always 

Whispers to you. 

Watching you exist, 

In the same space time continuum,

In the same room.

Hearing things that I feel like,

I’ve waited a lifetime to hear,

Unknowingly starving for.

Invading every inch of me,

All of you inside all of me.

Promises to myself that,

Were always broken,

Always picking up shattered pieces.

But every time I see you,

You’re healing shit you didn’t break. 

Gentle and unwavering,

Sweet and loving, 

Don’t ever change. 

Don’t ever be less.

Be everything always,

Be good, be curious,

Worship me like you’re following me,

Straight to hell,

Because you can’t leave anyway.

Hold me, need me,

Whisper in my ear,

Hang on to my every word, 

Excited to hear the things,

That accumulate inside my brain,

The only one asking, 

The only one seeking explanations. 

The only one feeding in my soul, 

Interested in my interests,

Saying things no one else hears,

Creating things inside me,

I’ve never really known. 

Don’t hurt me,

Don’t break this,

Don’t change the way I look at you,

Don’t change at all,

I’ve never wanted something,

So badly to stay. 

If The World Was Ending

 

How small and simple,

A tiny flame, 

The smallest spark, 

So fragile,

It can’t withstand,

Withstand the weather,

Withstand the ocean,

The sun, the moon,

Too tiny to mean much, 

One breath, 

Let out too long,

And dreams fall apart,

Flames extinguish,

Things die,

Some things can’t make it,

And then winter comes, 

It wraps you in the coldness, 

Cuddles you in the sadness, 

Holds you hostage,

No spark, no flame, 

Just you 

Addiction Is Tricky

 

If I knew the words,

I fucking would,

I. fucking. would. 

I’d freeze time for you to see,

I’d write for you to hear,

I’d be so fucking beautiful,

Words created just for you,

Just. for. you. 

How do you name the things, 

Swirling inside of you,

How do you describe everything?

Things alive inside of me,

That’s exist solely because of you. 

You and the way you look,

Moving around in my life,

Like it’s home and you’re here to stay,

Saying things to me,

That make me so fucking sorry,

So. fucking. sorry.

That a life ever existed without you.

An apocalypse created,

Just to touch you. 

Bomb detonation, 

Just to have you,

To watch you. 

If I knew the words,

To explain what happens when I see you,

I would fucking tell you.,

Tell you that I didn’t know what in love was,

Tell you that I just want to be yours,

That a future without you,

Can’t possibly be much of a future. 

I want everything you want for our future.

I just want this. 

If It’s Not a Natural Disaster, Then What kind of Natural Phenomenon Is It?

 

You are every storm,

I’ve ever known,

Washing away sins,

Coating my Earth,

You are the tornado,

Stirring up every emotion, 

I’ve ever known,

Unable to convince me, 

We were ever strangers,

You appear like a hurricane,

Out of nowhere,

Falling without warning,

A tsunami of a fairy tale,

Life coming to life,

Existing for you,

The smell on the Earth,

After it rains,

Consuming my senses,

Irreplaceable and invaluable,

Belonging only to the weather,

Coming to fruition, 

For me