Here is a list in my notes of seven promises I made to Grant when we first started dating. Seven promises he never got to hear, an unfinished piece of work, and why I failed at half of them. One, I promise to love you honestly and wholeheartedly. This is one thing I can honestly say I didn't fail at. I have always only had eyes for Grant and only pursued him. I wouldn't be here if that wasn't where I was at. If that's not where you're at, save yourself the trouble and leave. I promise to always remember that you are a human with feelings and emotions and always treat you as such. This one comes with its own personal struggles. It's hard to take someone's feelings and emotions into account when they are not keen on discussing their feelings and emotions. It's hard to build that level of understanding of someone's heart when it's made out to be this giant secret. In short, I don't always succeed at this. However, over the years, I do honestly think this is the most considerate I have ever been. I came from very selfish beginnings so everything is a process. I promise to always make an effort to meet you in the middle. This is also a tricky one. As it turns out, meeting in the middle means different things to different people. My idea of meeting in the middle is attempting to get over arguments and attempting to forgive in a timely manner. Grant's idea of meeting in the middle is the ability to apologize first. Turns out, we need to meet in the middle on what meeting in the middle means to each of us. Once again, I come from very humble beginnings. Fights are weeks long and apologies are nonexistent. The ability to quickly move on with an apology given to me, seems like a pretty sweet deal to me. I didn't come from a very forgiving family and sometimes it's really hard to leave your past behind. Once again, I failed here. Fourth, I promise to always respect and honor you even when you're not around. This one is fifty-fifty, like a half fail. I do not trash talk to other people. I do not speak bad on Grant's name. I used to have an argument friend. One friend who I would vent to if we were in an argument, but as a general rule, do not shit talk your partner to others. It's poison to any healthy relationship. However, to his face? There has definitely been some nasty name calling. Name calling is not an always and it's not a constant, but it is hard to forget when it does rear it's nasty head. How do you successfully argue when angry? Someone figure that out and let me know. I promise to always appreciate time with you. This, I actually do. I love spending time together. I love movie nights, dinner dates, and car rides when they are filled with actual conversation. I appreciate time with Grant because I know how many years I lost, let me say that again, I personally lost. As in, moments where I threw away years. That's an awful feeling. I promise to be your best friend always. I can honestly say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Grant is my best friend. There is no one else I share my life with in that way. Grant is the first on any news, the first opinion I ask, and normally the only that matters. And lastly, I promise to be considerate of how much you do for me and not take you for granted. Here, I can say I do appreciate the things that Grant does for me physically. Everyone appreciates ice cold water and a made bed and a warm towel. The problem here is, Grant thinks that should make me happy. It's a very lovely gesture, but it's not a cover up for discussing actual emotional things and it's not a cover up for someone who is genuinely happy with their lives, and someone is genuinely happy to see you. Physically though, man is grade A. Emotionally, I think he could use some help.
