Sunday, January 27, 2019

One Actually Wrote Today

In the end,
isn’t this what you wanted?
Passion you control.
A moment you hand pick,
for the ending.
You wait.
And wait.
And wait.
The perfect excuse eventually
presents itself.
Emotional damage with
your name on it.
You bring my darkest fears
to the surface.
The surface of this
battleground you created.
One where you hurt me,
and I stand in the spot,
where you once stood.
You’re gone now, though.
Of course you are.
Nowhere to be found.
Because you ran away.
I just can’t anymore.
I’ve been through too much.
I don’t know who I am right now.
All lines that ring familiar
from you.
And I’m left,
Waiting,
And waiting,
And waiting.
You never come back.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

One for the First Person to Ever Have My Heart

Hey nugget, what are you doing? So I know you think you're almost grown now and you don't need help with your life but I get to say it anyways because, frankly, this is my blog and I can write whatever the fuck I want to.
On men:
Sweetheart, if a man ever says he'll stay faithful to you as long as you are willing to put out. RUN. Run so far away. Never date a man that doesn't have a hobby. You don't need a man that hasn't committed to anything since his fourth grade art project. And same to you. Writing, art, and photography never go out of style, always keep at least one hobby. Any man who calls you a slut or a whore, will never ever love you the way you want to be loved. Let it go. Never date a man who betrays his own friends. If he can't even watch out for the people who have his back, why would he look out for you. If he is disrespectful to your momma, he does not respect you. If a man doesn't want you, what have you always heard? That's fine, because another one does and probably a hell of a lot more. Darling, never hold on to things that aren't meant for you because then you will never find what you are looking for.
On Friends:
This is a subject very near and dear to my heart. Few things in life are more important than good friends. You'll know you're on the right track because spending time with them will send you home with a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach. Or, here's an easier way to tell. Who is around you when you need someone? Who supports you when your shit hits the fan? Or another way to tell. Who can get you drunk and also take care of you and makes sure you get home safe? The easiest way to tell? If you need someone, someone to talk to, someone to come get you, someone to do you a favor and you won't call them, there's probably a reason for that. They're not worth the hassle. Let it go. Great friends have a way of making the worst mistakes livable. You'll know when you meet the ones worth holding on to. You'll just know. You don't have to do something because everyone else is doing it. Sometimes the one who doesn't do it, is the one worth noticing the most. When I was high school, this guy decided to quit smoking. Every time he would hang out with his friends, they would all be smoking and he would pass. He liked his own music, had his own thoughts, and read his own books. Let me tell you, I noticed that boy every day of single from the time we were in seventh until we graduated as seniors.
On Yourself:
Never ever fail to look up at the sky. Every time you walk outside, look up. You're either looking up to feel the rain on your face, looking up to see how blue the sky is, looking up to see the stars, or looking up to find the moon. Either way, it is always worth it. Always be able to tell people about yourself. What's my favorite movie? Everyone collectively say it together: PULP FICTION. Always know the things that put you in touch with yourself and the things that make you feel close to home. It is always an asset to know who you are. Intelligence will never be ugly. Intelligence will always be sexy. Never let anyone dumb you down and never choose to let your intelligence go by the wayside and quit learning for someone. Always strive to be like John. Always be someone who makes time for your friends, always be supportive, but also know your boundaries. Know what you need for yourself. Being a smartass will always amuse somebody. Even if that person is you (or me). Always take care of yourself, because no one will do it for you. Music will always hit where you need it to and if all else fails, the most important thing is Gilmore Girls. Life only comes around once, sweetie. Don't waste it.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

I Adore You Darling

What is love?
If not made of moments,
where one person proves
their knowledge of the other.
Moments where one is sad,
and one comforts.
Moments where two people
come to the same place everyday,
and call it home.
Moments where real things
build one on top of the other,
until our whole world is real.
Moments where two people
vow to call each other first
when news arrives.
Moments where you climb on top of me
And I know what it feels like
to lose all control.
Moments where two people
occupy space in each other's mind.
Little moments where I look at you
and you are already staring at me.
What is love?
If not all the moments
where I have come from you?
All the moments where
you lean into my ear and
whisper the dirtiest of dirty things,
so I forget what I was trying
to order.
Moments where you whisper
my name in the dark silence of night.
What is love?
If not you and I.