One Potentially Not for the Faint of Heart

And on that day, Sailor's light went out. She had got up that morning and nothing unusual or exceptionally terrible had happened. In fact, everything was the same. That was the problem, nothing had changed. It was another day of Sailor loving a man who claimed to love her in return. Another day of trying to talk while being interrupted, another day of trying to make it work while she felt her feelings being more and more bruised. She begged and pleaded to be heard while he went about his day, as emotionless and uninvested as ever. She made empty promises to leave if he didn't change. Time went by. He didn't change, she didn't leave. She begged for love, for conversations, for him to come forth with life changing speeches. All she felt like she got were words that just cut deeper and deeper. She searched high and low for a way to his heart, a thing that would get through his head. Anything she could think of to bring on an eye opening change of heart. She was a good woman, who at one time felt like he had the potential to be a good man. She thought one day it would hit him. How much he needed her, how much he didn't want to live without her. She thought he'd be so sorry and apologetic for his behavior. She thought he would spend the rest of her lives begging for her thoughts and feelings. He would spend his life trying to understand the ways in which his behavior had hurt her so deeply for so long. Everything would click and they would spend the rest of their lives in imperfect bliss. But years had past, and that day never came. And one day, she woke up and realized it never would. She knew he had never truly healed himself and given his heart to her. He had never set out to understand that he wasn't perfect but as long as he cared how hurt she was and tried to change that behavior. He had never felt that broken heart when seeing the shattered look upon her face. He had never truly heard her, not once. And every day, he hurt her a little more, and she wept silently when his presence made its absence. And every day, his uncaring and un-understanding behavior broke her a little more. Until that day. Sailor got up and spent her morning the way she spent every morning. She then grabbed her shoes from the rack by the door. She walked and walked some more, until she ended up a bridge. A big, sturdy, always the same bridge. And then, she jumped.

How Close is Too Close?

Everyday I watch,
my eyes filled with silent horror.
I watch myself become
smaller and smaller.
All by your hands.
I beg,
to be heard, to be understood.
To be treated kindly.
I beg,
for you to see the hurt,
the destruction written all over my face.
I beg for you to love me,
to keep me safe, to protect me.
And everyday,
things don't change.
And I beg for help from my new position,
closer to the edge.

One I Feel May Already Be Posted

My tears flow like rain.
Sobs to match the sound
of a tin roof.
A tsunami of salt-mixed water.
You came.
A hurricane of destruction passing through.
Then, you were gone.
A whisper on the wind.
Gone, gone again.
And my rain will fall.
Until new spring comes.
I am reborn.